http://www.screamfree.com/

Parenting is not about kids, it's about parents. If you're not in control,
then you cannot be in charge....

"ScreamFree Parenting," by Hal Runkel, is an excellent parenting guide
that will help moms and dads everywhere to keep (or regain) their sanity.
Runkel is a licensed family and marriage therapist and one of the founders
of ScreamFree Living, Inc. The book's thesis is that parents cannot keep
tabs on their kids 24/7, nor can they force their children to consistently
behave in a certain way. Therefore, mothers and fathers would be better off
learning to focus on how they react to their children's words and actions. 

Parents, Runkel contends, should take stock of themselves. Are they in
control of their behavior when they interact with their children? Or are
they at the mercy of their "emotional reactivity"--their unthinking,
knee-jerk reactions? If the latter is true, it is likely that parent-child
interactions will be tense, angry, and unproductive. 

All of us who have struggled with parental responsibilities instinctively
realize that a calm and reasoned approach is far more effective than a
hysterical and dictatorial one. However, because of fatigue, ignorance, or
inertia, many of us instinctively lash out, saying things that we don't
really mean when our kids push our buttons. What to do? 

Runkel does not advocate a permissive parenting style. Rather, the author
recommends what he calls "judo parenting." Judo is "the art of going with
another's momentum." A ScreamFree parent facilitates rather than dictates;
he encourages his children to use their own resources to solve problems.
By helping kids to get in the habit of making their own decisions and
living with the consequences, parents will be more likely to launch
"self-directed" adults. 

Runkel's writing style is clear, concise, humorous, and to-the-point. The
book is conveniently divided into easy-to-read sections and the chapters
all conclude with thought-provoking "reflection questions." The author
provides many practical examples to demonstrate how his principles work
in the real world. Runkel's amusing quotations from a wide variety of
sources add liveliness to his message. In additon, there are lengthier
anecdotes that are taken from Runkel's experiences as a family therapist.
Most parents will pick up many useful tips from "ScreamFree Parenting."
It is an entertaining, intelligent, and practical approach to raising our
kids without losing our minds.