Zerocrop  AIN'T NO WANKER

02.02.00: Music review: Fluid magazine

Do you ever get sick of the bland diet of boy bands and sentimental girlies that ooze from 

the charts and sound systems of gay venues? You're not alone. It was that banality and lack 

of music with any gay content that inspired a man known only as Zerocrop to produce his own 

single and multi-media experience, the subversive Ain't No W*nker. You can't really imagine 

Westlife doing a cover version of it, can you?


Zerocrop's sound is a fusion of pop, dance and electronica. He mixes his won voice with 

those of guys on chatlines who were up for ruff fun. "I'm fascinated by how people express 

themselves when they're looking for sex in this way. Whether they're speaking or typing they 

say such great things and I wanted to shine a light on that" the enigmatic Zerocop explains 

via email, which seems appropriate considering his multi-media approach. The CD single is 

actually a CD extra, with a full-length multi-media peepshow. Users can eavesdrop on the 

genuine private conversations that 40 different guys had with Zerocrop, read the text that 

each guy typed and check out the phots they sent, albeit reproduced as minimalist modern 

graphics.


"I think it's a bit more interesting than a pop video with me playing the guitar in the 

shower and all that crap." So what's the song about anyway? "The song Ain't No W*nker is 

about a kidnap scene with a top who, when he's got you tied-up and gagged-up, decides to 

keep you prisoner forever. Mmmm nice." You said it. "Ain't No W*nker really means "I'm for 

real, I'm not a time-waster" and in a rough sex sense it means "you can trust me, I'm safe 

and sane", and on a general level it means "I'm not another boring tosser". 

Ain't No W*nker is the first Zerocrop release, available on CDextra, from 1st January 2000, 

to coincide with the new millenium. Ain't No W*nker is a ground-breaking mashup of beats, 

tortured vinyl, guitars and voices recorded from gay telephone chatlines. The three music 

tracks are 

Ain't No W*nker, 
Six Foot Blond Hair Smooth and 
Into Really Hot Horny Fucking Raunchy Times Mate. I Want To Meet You. "

 
https://www.zerocrop.com/aintnowanker/
 
https://www.roberturban.com/GGWinterviewzerocrop.html