Fold, Rush. Seriously!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
If you can’t wait for the next season of “Dancing with the Stars,” I suggest you tune into “Dancing with Republicans.” GOP stalwarts are all over the tube lately displaying their trickiest moves. On the literal front, at the Miss America pageant Rush Limbaugh actually danced to Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.” I’m using the term “dance” loosely. Calling what Limbaugh did there “dancing” is like calling what he does during the day “political commentary.” It wasn’t really dancing. He just shook very awkwardly and kept pumping his fist in the air. He looked like someone using a punching bag during a strong earthquake. But it was quite an energetic display. I haven’t seen moves like that from Rush Limbaugh since he was mocking Michael J. Fox’s Parkinsons Disease. Anyway, it’s nice to see Rush can make a fool out of himself without opening his mouth—except to gasp for air. And he certainly put the “gag” in Lady Gaga.

In a more metaphorical dance, GOP guru Frank Luntz is dancing around the truth again. He’s come out with a memo outlining how Republicans should kill financial reform. Luntz’s strategy stresses outright lies and playing on people’s fears—the same playbook he used on healthcare reform. The only think worse than evil is retread evil. Can’t this guy even come up with new diabolical schemes? The one common thread through everything that Luntz is telling Republicans to say is that none of it is true. Of course, if all you’re going to do is tell the truth, you don’t have to pay Frank Luntz to write it up for you. Also displaying some fancy footwork was GOP Congressman Jeb Hensarling. On Hardball last night he advocated cutting Social Security benefits
and privatizing Social Security. And he did it without using the words “cut” or “privatize.” Mission Accomplished! Hensarling said we need to “re-engineer” Social Security benefits with a “defined contribution plan.” That does sound better than “cut your benefits and give the money to Wall Street.” Do you want to give your Social Security to Wall Street? You’d be better off cleaning the toilets at the Stock Exchange. At least then you would know how much you’re going to be getting.

Well, there are your Republican dance finalists. Not pretty to watch. Just be glad none of them did it in tights.